Everything in One?

Trying to play catch-up on my blog seems like a daunting and impossible task, and I will try to be succinct. I don't promise to make any cohesive or chronological sense.

I am still actively pursuing a home purchase. It has been a trying process to say the least. I have looked at dozens of condos, have put in four offers, and still don't have a home. Luckily, all my homebuyer friends prepared me for this, and I'm not totally discouraged. Yet. There have definitely been discouraging moments - the last place I put an offer on....I really wanted. And I'm still holding out hope that the offer they went with instead of mine will fall out of escrow. Is it rude to wish bodily or financial harm on someone you've never met? I know, I know.

So my brain has been flooded with flooring, tile, cabinet, and storage ideas. To the point where I am frequently not able to sleep. It's ridiculous.

It has been an especially difficult time because I have been doing this on my own. I had expected that Bradley would be coming with me to view places, and that I would have him to bounce ideas off of - he's so awesome at renovations and creative building - but unfortunately he has been swamped and stressed out with stuff going on at his house. Renovations, repairs, irrational relatives, and shady vendors have caused him a lot of angst, and he takes a lot of responsibility on his shoulders. This has caused a lot of stress between us - we're both going through a lot right now, and it's hard being sore, tired, and exhausted all the time. It has been rough to say the least, and I am just hoping we make it out of this with our relationship still intact....right now it's tense, and a lot of effort.

In the meantime I've realized that there are a lot of things that I used to love to do that I have let fall by the wayside, and in order to maintain some balance and sanity, I'm trying to get back to those things. I made a list:

*Swimming

*Making Jewelry

*Multi-Sport Events - sprint triathlons, etc.

These are things that I used to do pretty regularly that I really wish I was still doing....so I'm setting myself a goal to do them more often.

I intend to come home for a visit in December, and I think this will help a bit. I want to a.) bring back a lot more of my crafty stuff, and b.) sell all the rest of my crap and make some money - hopefully enough to pay for my trip. :) I am really looking forward to spending a good deal of time with my family, I miss them so much. And luckily, a bunch of them are coming to visit in the next year - I am really looking forward to that. Like, REALLY.

I got a little taste of home at the beginning of this month when Megan and Nicole came to visit. It was so awesome to see them both, I can't even begin to explain. It was probably the most time I have spent with Nicole in the past 5 years, and while I love her family to death, I love her more, and it was awesome to enjoy her beautiful spirit on her own. And to laugh and get stupid drunk with Megan again was just like old times, and really makes me miss living with her. We have such an awesome connection that the time and distance doesn't seem to have any affect on us - we're right back to being roomies in Sunnyvale, making oven pizza in the microwave.

Last week I took my first Zumba class - it was a blast. I didn't know anyone in the class, which I think actually allowed me to have more fun - I wasn't worried about what anyone in there was thinking, and I just got to dance. I was super sore the next morning, but it was so worth it, and I am definitely going again this week. That capped off four days of working out in a row last week, and I intend to hit that goal this week as well.

I need to buy oil for the scooter, and get it serviced. I am very grateful for it during these times of high gas prices. Yikes. I've been riding it for about a year, and while my massage outcalls are limited, you can't beat the $13 a month gas bill.

I think I'll wrap up this post, and just try to commit to posting more regularly. We'll see how that goes....

Cart Before the Horse, or House Before the Car?

I'm riding around on a scooter, and thinking about buying a house. How's that for ironic?? It's come to my attention that I'm "stupid not to buy right now". Which is true - if you can swing it, NOW is definitely the time to purchase a home. So apparently that's what I'm going to do. Well, barring a few minor details. Like, the downpayment. Just a tiny little issue.

There is a real push to get this done right now because of the Federal Housing Tax Credit of $8K if you purchase by the end of November. So I'm looking at condos this evening, and I'm actively trying to find people that are willing to lend money to me. My head is spinning so fast - I already got a preapproval from Jayson, and 35 pages in loan docs. Talk about nuts.

I am VERY excited at the prospect of paying a monthly housing bill that is actually getting me somewhere, but I am insanely nervous about it as well. I will need to rent out the second bedroom wherever I end up. I'm really grateful that Bradley will be able to come with me tonight, I just feel so disjointed. Life just got BIZZEE.

And oh yeah, I suppose there goes the idea of saving for a car - house before the car it is....!!

Feeling Moved

Today is a bit of an emotional day - I'm feeling very sad for Blythe today, it's the anniversary of her mother's death. This is the first anniversary of that day, and while some think that we shouldn't focus on that....I know from experience that this day will always be a landmark for she and Sean, and their family. I hope for her that eventually the acute pain of the loss will start to dull, and the day can be spent remembering the positive things about Nancy that we all miss. Her beautiful smile, her supportive nature, and infectious energy. And of course, her awesome hair cut. Right now my heart goes out to them across the ocean...It's hard to be away, I wish I could give them all hugs.

Thoughts are Swimming

My hair is getting long. Well, long for me anyway.

I wonder at what point I will actually start growing up.

I keep thinking about babies, and I believe I finally understand the ticking clock.

I'm saving a little bit of money.

There are a thousand things that I want to buy with that little bit of money.

So many amazing visitors coming in the next 9 months - mom and dad in August. Megan and Nicole in September. Corrie and friends in April (for her 40th. WTF??)

Had a bitchin couple of weeks with my man - lots of connection, activity, and happiness.

Started a program called Donate Your Fat - it's an awesome way to get healthy, and contribute to a worthy cause in the meantime. I'm on Day 8 of 40. If you want to sponsor me - ANY amount, find me on www.donateyourfat.org

I need to buy myself some special shoes for the lava rock.

My goggles keep fogging up in the ocean...it makes snorkeling in 30 feet of open water, 1/4 mile from shore a little scary.

I think I'm going to ride my scooter into town today and go to the arts and crafts store. I need to make Jake and Nicole a wedding gift - TARDY.

I made turkey burgers last night - they leaked a weird meaty goo because I baked them, but they were quite tasty regardless.

My new favorite treat - Safeway macadamia nut brownies. They are sinful. So is the Dairy Queen Reese's Peanut Butter Cup Blizzard.

The King

I have a nice update from the weekend forming in my head, as well as pictures to share, but for now, just know that it was very relaxing to do absolutely nothing.

I read 750 pages in The Stand. I fully intend to read the last 450 this weekend. Again. For the third time. And now I want my Stephen King collection here with me.

The Wedding of the Year

Nicole and Jake got married on Friday!!!

This is part of the reason that June flew by so quickly - wedding prep, and lots of fun with the Bachelorette, extra massages for family members, and dinners with a whole bunch of people from Idaho and Ohio.

It was a pleasure to meet all of Nicole and Jake's family and friends - an awesome crew of people, as to be expected. Nicole is one of those people that I'm magnetically drawn to. She is grounded, successful, happy, and has a great approach to and appreciation of life. I have that with a very select few people from home, and I wasn't sure if I would ever find that in others, espeically here on Maui, where so many people seem transient, flighty, and unsure of themselves. Luckily I found that in several Mauians, and Nicole is one of them. I'm honored to call her a friend, and I look forward to a lot more happy memories with she and Jake.

This was actually my first Hawaiian wedding, and some of the ceremonial traditions were very moving. My favorite was when the officient asked Jake and Nicole to turn and face their friends and family, and to accept the love for them that was brought by each person. He asked them to meet each person in the eye, to have an exchange of love. It was a big wedding - over 200 people there - so the exchange took a rather long time, but it was so powerful.

The reception was awesome too - Ryan Robinson band played, and I sang a couple songs with them. Ryan and I surprised Nicole with "Lucky" by Jason Mraz feat. Colby Callait, and that went over really well. She had originally wanted that as her first dance song, but Jake wasn't in love with it, so they went with something they both loved. But she still really like that song. I hope that we get to see video of that soon because I have no idea what I sounded like. Or maybe I don't want to see video, cuz in my head it sounded AWESOME.

We closed down the reception, shaking our groove thing until the very last minute. It was such a happy, awesome wedding.

The next day I met Nicole and a bunch of ladies for a performance of 'Ulalena, which is a musical theater production about the history of Maui. The lights, the set, the actors, the vocalists....the whole production was incredible. It reminded me a bit of the fantastic-ness of a Cirque performance, but with the polynesian culture and mythological characters. The musicians were elevated off the the right of the stage, and were lit so you could watch them the whole time as well - lots of traditional instrumentation....just breathtaking. It was amazing. I'm totally going back.

As with any major event like this, I just can't believe that it's gone and past. But then I'm reminded when Nicool so goofily answers the phone..."This is MRS. FREEMAN!"

Thanks You Guys

I've been totally blog-less the last few weeks. I can't believe I only posted once in June. I'm pretty sure that the month of June was only in pretend, by the way. WTF, where did it go? On to heaven with Ed McMahon, Farah Fawcett, Michael Jackson, and Billie Mays.

My only comment about the MJ death is that yes, I'm very sorry that he is gone. Much in the same way I'm sad when anyone gets dead. I'm sorry for his family, and for his friends, and for his children who will feel the physical loss of their son, brother, father. But past that, I'm over it. We (the public) didn't know him. What we knew was what tabloids and newsstands wrote about him, and we knew the character that he portrayed in the public and while performing. That's it. So I'm not personally sad - empathetic, yes - sad, no. That might sound a little harsh, but hey, that's the truth. Now I'm just fascinated with the media frenzy and all the stupidity that makes us want to know what MJ's net worth was. WTF?

I'm more freaked out that Billie Mays is dead, because if the ShamWow guy becomes the next big pitch man, I'm going to carve out my own eyeballs. Or get one of his professional hookers to do it.

Last night I got to go on a date with my honey, and that was very nice. After a loooong day at the office (almost 12 hours!), I met Bradley here at Mala for a nice dinner. We enjoyed sunset and a delicious dinner, some cocktails, and each other. It's been a long time for us, so much going on this past month, and it was nice to reconnect a little. I'm looking forward to things getting more back to normal in the next couple months. We're going to take off this weekend, camp somewhere on the west side maybe - just me and my boy, fishing, swimming, snorkeling, diving, and killing octopus for bait. What a life.

I'm also looking forward to a lot of reading. For some unknown reason, I picked up The Stand again....and in a heartbeat, I was already 100 pages into it. So now I'm obsessed again...we'll see how much I can blaze through with two full days of camping/lounging on the beach. I think we're going to blow town on Friday afternoon, and head straight out, get the poles set up, and enjoy some dinner.

I love filling up my camelbak and wearing a head lamp.

And watching episodes of Law & Order on my iPod in the middle of the night. I'm so hard core.

Oh, and to the title of this little blog - thanks to those of you who commented on my last post. You re-encouraged me to keep doing this. I do miss it when I slack off.

Love you all!!!

My Least Favorite Words

When I manage the front of house at the restaurant, and a server knocks on my office door and says....."Table 9 wants to talk to you". Ug dude. Ug. I literally detest having to stand there and listen to people complain for any number of stupid reasons....the guest doesn't think there are enough vegetarian options on the buffet (we're not a vegetarian restaurant you tool), or their server wouldn't get them a grilled cheese sandwich for breakfast (how stupid can you be server? yes we will make our guests a grilled cheese sandwich for crying out loud)..... or any other number of ridiculous reasons that pulls me away from my time perusing dlisted.com.

Sheesh.

I'm the Dude

And not in a white russian sort of way.

I essentially found out last night that when it comes to the interpersonal relationship I have with my boyfriend, our gender roles are reversed in some ways. I also realized that Bradley is a lot nicer than me. And that I need to get down off my self-righteous box of soap and learn what it means to really, truly put someone else's needs first.

I really didn't understand how much the problems in his life had escalated. I didn't know because he didn't tell me. I was supposed to know, and I was supposed to lend a hand without him having to ask me. Does that sound like a typically female assertion or what? As much as that sounds irrational on paper, it is true that I haven't been paying attention. To a certain extent, I should have been more aware of how much he was getting frustrated and overextended, and recognize that he needed me....instead, I took it personally, and exaggerated in my mind an environment where I was being mistreated.

In this respect, having had no relationship for such a long period of time was a detriment. I pride myself in my ability to communicate, and really get to the heart of issues, and solve problems talking things out, working through issues, make everything right, etc. I need to disregard my rational pragmatism and get back in touch with my compassion. I need to swallow that pride, shut up, and listen.

Last night, at one point at the end of a heated (though productive) conversation, he expressed to me that right now he feels broken. Physically and mentally. I felt so small....so sad. So disappointed in myself that I would have spent so much time in the last week worrying about how he had 'wronged' me.

Stepping away from all this.....none of the difficulties we've had in the last week are life or death. It's just magnified by our differing communication styles, something that I think will continue to improve as we work through these kinds of speed bumps. And as I mentioned before, they don't happen very often, so it may be a while before we find our mutual compromise. Patience, Whitney. It's a virtue and all that.

I think this is universe's way of preparing me to be a mother.

Doubt

I watched Doubt last night. I had no idea it was a play first. I was watching the Special Features afterward, and listening to these accomplished actors talk about the play as well, and I was so overcome with the longing for theater.

If you haven't seen the movie Doubt, see it. What a heartfelt, provocative, edgy, and surprising script. And with that cast....I watched the entire movie like I was in a 100 seat theater, on the edge of my seat the entire time. I have long admired Phillip Seymour Hoffman, and in my opinion he is one of the greatest actors of this generation. Put him next to Meryl Streep who is without a Doubt one of the most humanizing actresses to grace the screen and stage.....it was a powerful, moving bit of film.

As I watched the interviews with the actors, I was pulled right back into the love I have always had for the art of acting. This movie reinvigorated my passion for the craft, and made me realize that I have missed the theater in my life in the last few years.

There are a lot of little milestones I need to hit here before I am settled enough to even think about auditioning for a production, but I am putting it back on my horizon.

Trying to Recover

It's been a bit of a roller coaster this past weekend and through today so far. Lots of ups and downs, and I'm not "handling it very well", as my good friend Rachel Green would say.

Starting with Saturday, I woke up to a very grumpy Bradley, who was not at all pleased to be waking up early. More and more lately he has been inconsolably grumpy in the mornings, and it was starting to take it's toll on me. I get so upset when he is grumpy, and I'm trying hard not to take it personally, but it really does affect my mood and my ability to interact with him. Then I get mad - I just get so frustrated when my questions and offers to help are greeted with gruff one word answers. So Saturday I had no patience for his grumpiness, and kind of snapped at him. I was very happy to head out and meet up with Carrie for an adventure.

We had an AMAZING trip up to Kapalua Adventures to do the zip line. It was such an awesome experience, and I'm glad that I got to do that with Carrie (for really cheap!). We had a blast hanging out together as we usually do. Plus it was just so nice to get out of town, change of scenery. We started with breakfast in the Cafe there, and that was superb! Then we got geared up and headed up the mountain to the zip line course. It was totally exhilerating and magical, in some places soaring 300ft above bamboo forests. It made me feel like I might be more able to skydive. Maybe. After the zip line tour, we headed to Lahaina for lunch at Mala Ocean Tavern. That was lovely! I wished that I could have just kept hanging out with Carrie all day, we were having such a great time together.

Instead I went up to Bradley's and hung out with him for a little bit at his house before heading home to meet up with Justin. He was at my house building me a bed frame!! I couldn't believe the time and care he had put into it - I had told him I needed to comission one earlier last week, and here he was almost completely done with a beautifully simple cedar and mahogany frame. It was amazing, and so well made. So he finished that up by evening time, Carrie came over, and the four of us had a nice dinner, and chatted the evening away.

Bradley and I had plans the next morning to pick up a steamer and take care of the couches, chair, and his car. We also planned to varnish the bed frame - a lot on the list! Unfortunately the day started out badly, and just got worse....I woke up early because the steamers are on a first come first serve basis. Bradley was having a little trouble waking up and I offered to go by myself. Instead, he rolled out of bed, and gave me the whopper of all grumpiness. Not much was going out way that morning, so it just kept getting worse with him being short with me.....I actually got mad at him and yelled at him a little. Well, not really yelled....but asked him why he was being such a jerk, and told him it sure wasn't fair that he was taking out his grumpies on me. He had also forgotten it was Mother's Day, so that threw a wrench in our plans - after we picked up the steamer, he headed up to his house to get his mom flowers and take her out to breakfast. Since we were in a little tiff, he took his sweet time actually coming back to the house, and by the time he did, I had already steamed the couch, the chair, and done the first coat of varnish on the bed frame. I was exhausted, and disappointed that he wasn't there to help.

So after the work was done, we decided to head over the Carrie and Justin's to swim in their awesome pool, but we had a few errands to run first. Well, none of those went well, and in the meantime the back window of the 4runner got stuck in the down position and wouldn't go back up. Bradley was extremely frustrated, and both his and my moods continued to tank. After a lot of car juggling, we finally parked the 4runner in my garage so it would be safe, and decided to still head over to Carrie and Justin's - 3 hours late. We ended up having an awesome time over there, swimming and sitting in the hot tub. Then we got Jack in the Box, set up the bed frame, and crashed watching a movie. It was a nice end to a really horrible day.

I thought things would be a bit better Monday, but they weren't. Same grumpy Bradley in the morning, then he was fine a little later, and then grumpy again at night. I had two massages scheduled for that evening after work, and wasn't done until almost 9pm, so I was exhausted and just couldn't keep up with his moods.

I was still reeling yesterday morning from his mood swings, and was really preoccupied with it, but trying to avoid a conversation about it so I could just make it to work. So while I was drying my hair, he was laying on the bed waiting for me, and he says oh so sarcastically, "what's wrong with you this morning?".....I wheeled on him, gave him my most "oh no you DIDN'T" look, and let him know just how I was feeling. Ultimately, he admitted that his behavior was off because he has been so busy and so much had gone wrong in the past week - I told him how much his grumpiness and shortness with me affects my mood and how much it upsets me...I let him know that I should be the person he comes to for help, not takes out his frustrations on....and he just sat there like a scolded child. "I don't know what to say". I asked him if there was anything he needed from me, if there was anything I could do to help, and he said no. Honestly the conversation itself made me feel so helpless.

Here's the reality - I know that I own some of the issues we had over the weekend. I'm naturally a happy person, and I'm also a very selfish being. So when Bradley is gruff with me, my first reaction is to ask what's wrong, offer help, but if he rebuffs me, or is short with me in any way, I shut down. I stop being compassionate, and I get indignant and self-righteous immediately. I have no patience with grumpiness. And once I'm 'offended', I'm very stubborn about pulling out of that mood. I really don't know how to stop this knee-jerk reaction, but I do need to work on it. Truly and honestly, the reason behind his attitude is because he's struggling, he's overwhelmed.....and he doesn't have the same coping mechanisms I do. SO, my conclusion is that we both have something to work on....he sure as shit shouldn't dump his frustrations on me in that way, he needs to learn how to ask for help. I need to approach the situation with more compassion and patience.

This doesn't happen very often, so I know it's not a make or break. And because it doesn't happen very often, it will probably take us a long time before we can handle times of trial with ease together. I need to be patient. He's worth it.

Yesterday he called me in the evening to apologize. He said he was sorry, and that he didn't want to make me feel the way he has been. It's amazing how far an apology can go. He did, however, sleep at his house last night - our first night apart in months. It was a bit of a relief in a strange way. I was initially a little hurt that he would decide to spend a night away, but quickly realized it was kind of silly. We spend every night together, and we have been up in each other's business, it's good to take a breather now and again, actually remember what makes us whole as individuals and together. I went to the gym, watched a movie he wouldn't like, took a bath, organized some files, and gave myself a pedicure. Things I should be doing even when he's around, but I get so dazzled by being with him that I forget....

I always have a need to "process" these issues....I feel so much better after having written all this down. It's amazing the power we have in ourselves to resolve our own emotional turmoil, to gain perspective.

It's De-Lightful, It's De-Liscious, It's De-Kidney

So I saw the doctor on Monday - I have a kidney infection (which, unbeknownst to me, is just another form of a UTI, who knew?).

I've never had one before, and now I'm mentioning this to a few people, turns out they happen all the time, and almost everyone I know has had one. I guess I've been lucky the last 31 years. Unfortunately, since I didn't know what was going on, and I waited so long to head to doctor, it had gotten pretty advanced. On Monday when I went in, my right kidney was screaming at me. The doctor gave me the antibiotic, and some pain pills, and told me to go get some cranberry concentrate. She thought the pain should be gone within a day. It hasn't - and it basically just gets worse as the day goes on. Today I'm going home relatively early to put my feet up and see if that helps it any. If it isn't better by tomorrow, I'm going back to the doc.

At least now I know the signs of this ridiculous malady, and I hopefully won't ever have to go through this again.

I still haven't taken "after" pictures of the house - there is so much to do, and I haven't worked on it at all in the last few days. Patience my friends.....I WILL put them up......

Really? I mean, really?

I'm going to the doctor today. For some unknown reason, I have the uncontrollable urge to urinate all the time. Starting last Tuesday, i just all of the sudden have to pee at least once an hour, and the urge is now almost always there, tickling my nether regions. This has come hand in hand with a mild pain in my back (well, one night it was not so mild. It woke me and kept me up for about an hour). Symptoms point to kidney stones or a kidney infection. I am not pleased....I was so looking forward to getting back into my normal swing of life this week. I'm mostly moved in, with a few remaining projects around the new house, and my whole being just needed a sigh of relief this week. Oh-ho-ho, not so!

In other news, this potential ailment (whatever the eff it turns out to be) has refocused my need to eat healthier. Oh, that, and the fact that my fat slacks are too tight to wear to work. Eeeks! Anyway, I told myself that once I got the habit of the gym down, then I would move onto food. So here I am, moving onto food. Time to fix that. No more Chocolate Peanut Butter Ice Cream in the freezer, Bradley, sorry hon. It's on to fat free fruit bars for dessert. Hoping to shed a few unnecessary pounds before Nicool's wedding, where I will be making a complete fool of myself to Beyonce's anthem.

I don't know why I've let them go, but my fingernails are totally long. I didn't do Jace's massage last week because I was moving, and they have just gotten longer and longer. They look really nice, but they're annoying the hell out of me. Once you get used to keeping your fingernails short....ew, they get dirt under them so easily.

I need to put up some pictures of the new house here, but it takes a while to upload photos onto this blogger, and I have a lot. I need to figure out a way to link up to another picture program, but the thought of creating another account online just makes me want to poke out my own eyeballs right now.

Ug...please don't be diabetes. Please don't be a kidney stone. I'm really sick of the health dramas.

Done. Now On To The Real Work.

Finally signed the lease on the new place yesterday. To say my new landlord is verbose is an understatement. This guy can't get a point across without beating it to death. Where most people would say, "I've been cleaning the place for your arrival", our good friend Alan Schroepfer says something more like:

"I've spent the last couple days really going through the house trying to make sure that the place looked great and was completely cleaned up for you. I used this wire brush here to clean the corners on the areas of the kitchen counters that were pretty stubborn - I'm going to leave that wire brush here, and you're more than welcome to use it whenever you like. I used a cleaning agent...where is it..?...oh yeah, here it is...um Soft Scrub. That's what I was using, and it really seemed to do the job. I'm going to leave this here for you as well, just in case you ever need it in the future."

I know I can be wordy sometimes, but really Alan? Really?

He's a really nice guy though, and that combined with the glorious fact that he lives on the mainland and won't be here to lay out anymore good-natured diatribes on how to turn the sprinklers so the water actually hits the plants.......I think this will work out great.

I've now made an already huge list of crap that I need to buy at Home Depot, Ross, Costco, and K-Mart. It's gonna be a long weekend of spending money on stuff I don't want to. And some that I do....I'm excited to buy bathroom linens. New towels make me horny. So do new pillows, but I don't think I can make an excuse for that one, since I already have 7 pillows on my bed. OH, but I'll have to buy pillows for the COUCH. YEAH!

Keyring Explosion

We picked up the car yesterday, wahoo! Technically this is Bradley's baby - when I realized our friend Jake was selling his 1990 4Runner at a spectacular price, Bman and I fought a little over who would get to buy it, and he won. While I have always wanted an old-school 4Runner....I had to concede Bradley would probably get more use out of it with his fishing and diving gear, and he's the one who knows how to fix it. I helped a little with the initial purchase, so right now I own a little bit of it, but technically, it's Bradley's. :) The sweet thing is....he refers to it as our car, he has always said it will be a great car for "us", and as soon as he got the keys, he handed me the spare. Which followed the recent acquisition of the spare key to his primary vehicle as well, the Honda. SO, I now have spare keys to both Bradley's cars - that's the big time for this sentimental gal.

We did a little car shuffle yesterday so he could pick up the 4Runner (we still need to name it), and I picked up his Honda** to meet him at his house, and we gave it a good wash, and did a little detailing and assessing of all the things he wants to do to it. There is a good amount of rust that will need to be fixed, some engine adjustments, chrome polish the rims, paint job, maybe new seats, new radio, etc., etc. He's jazzed on the projects - we did a couple very small things to the car last night, and I had a great time working with him. He's an awesome teacher, and he knows I'm not a helpless chick, so I get down and dirty with him. Fun!

Here's the new ride:

And here's my new GIANT keyring (that i love):

This is number one in a series of big events coming up. Next is signing the lease tonight on the new house, then buying all the crap I need for the new house, and then moving in (in a WEEK!). Good thing we just got the 4Runner. Perfect! Hopefully then there won't be anything too huge going on until I move again in six months. *sigh*

**While picking up dinner, I managed to leave both our sodas on the roof of the car and drive off. When a kind motorist in the parking lot honked and waved me down from his car, I assumed he knew me, and I hit the brakes a little too hard. Oh yeah....two cups of root beer and ice, flowing right down the winshield on the driver's side, down the open driver's side window, and into the car - all over the dash, in the vents, down the window jamb, on me......Murphy couldn't have planned it better. I could not stop myself from laughing hysterically - along with the 15 or 20 other gawkers. Granted, it's been a long time since I've been driving a car, but talk about rookie maneuver.

Birthday Fun

My birthday was a week ago last Friday (the 10th), and it started out a little rough - was a hard day at work - but ended sweetly. I got home, had to give a massage, and then Bradley was coming over. He showed up with a big homemade chocolate cake with peanut butter chips. Mmmm....he also got me some jewelry he found at an antique shop - a bracelet and ring made out of antique silverware handles. I loved it!

The next day was a day of fun with friends!

YOGA!

I have never tried yoga before, but I know lots of people who love it, and those people are radiating with life and energy, so I've always wanted to give it a try. Summer is a massage therapist and yogi, and a good friend of Jason's, so I called her up to schedule a yoga class in our backyard. It was awesome - myself, Kat, Nicool, Jace, and Sara (Jace's new sweetie who owns Wokstar), all did a beginner Ashtanga yoga class in the early morning sun, with the breeze floating through the palms, and the sound of the ocean in the background. It was unforgettable.

And it was followed up with mimosas! Yum!

PEDICURES!

Then myself, Carrie, and Nicool adjourned to David's Happy Nails for some foot rubbin. We enjoyed a nice pedicure there - the girls got french pedis, and I got orange with red polka dots. Perfect!

MOVIE!

Then Carrie took me to town to see a movie - my favorite thing to do! We went to see Monsters vs Aliens, in 3D. It was such a trip. I really enjoyed the movie - it was too cool for school. Plus, all the earth sequences were set in Modesto, CA., where I was BORN. What a serendipitous reference for my BIRTHDAY. :)

DINNER!

We headed home, and I jumped in the shower to get ready for a dinner at Mala. It was so nice - Jason, Candace, Carrie, Jace, Rachel, Nicool, and Bradley all came for a delicious dinner.

GOING OUT!

I was completely exhausted by the time we actually headed out to Mulligan's, and then on to Tip Ups, but I tried to man up, and make it through. Mulligan's was okay, we only stayed for one drink. Ryan's band was playing at Tip Ups, and that was way more fun for me - I love their music. Got to enjoy a few songs and a drink there, and then it was time to put this baby to bed!

GREAT BIRTHDAY!

Movin Out

Trying to play catch-up! Lots of things to update, the first one being that I'll be moving very shortly - hopefully this weekend!

I decided a couple months ago that I needed to move out of my glorious abode on Halama street. Several reasons:

1) I don't really feel at home in that home. Kat acts as a landlord of sorts (she is the only one on the lease), and so she has established the place as her home. She frequently talks about how she wants the place to be comfortable and homey, and a great place for people to hang out, but then she won't allow even the smallest of personal touches in the living areas. This includes computers, TV's pictures...pretty much anything. So all of those things are packed into our respective rooms. Since there is a cat in the house, I have to have my door shut to keep her out......so......I basically come home, shut my door, and hang out in a 10 x 12 box all night. For some people that may sound like paradise, but not for me. I don't want to live in a sterile environment anymore - I want a home filled with color, activity, and openness.

2) There are also a lot (and i mean, a lot) of bugs, rodents, and other animals all over the house because she won't let us spray (too toxic for her). They really gross me out.

3) There are a LOT of homes on the market right now, and a lot of them are offering some seriously sweet move-in deals and discounts.

I love the location of the home so much, and I spend a lot of time in the AMAZING backyard, and I will definitely miss that dearly. But I have to keep reminding myself that I am only seconds from beautiful beaches no matter where I end up living. I just hope that 1724 Halama hasn't totally spoiled me.

Anyhoo...it turned out that Ryan Robinson (of the Ryan Robinson Band, whom I sing with occasionally), was looking for a place at the same time, and we started to check out housing together. We found a great 3 bedroom/2 bath house in south Kihei off Keonekai (which is by Kamaole III), and we are hopefully signing the lease tonight!! It has taken a little longer than I had hoped to get this far with the landlord, but I'm crossing my fingers that we're on the home stretch, and that we can start moving stuff in this weekend. If everything goes through, then I will take some pictures and share with you all soon.

In the meantime I started packing over the weekend - I don't have that much stuff, which is great for moving. However this place is totally unfurnished, so I'm gonna have to spend a little dough to get it all set up.

I'm totally thrilled to be moving with Ryan though - our house will be filled with music, and I am so completely jazzed about that!!!!!!!!!

More on this subject later.....

A Day in the Life.

Monday

1. 6am Get up
2. 7am Work (long day)
3. 3:30pm Gym (short one)
4. 5pm Work 2nd Job @ Ada's
5. 7:30pm Home, shower, cook dinner
6. 8:30pm Start movie
7. 10:30pm ZZZzzzzz

Tuesday

1. 6am Get up
2. 7am Work
3. 3pm Gym
4. 4:15pm Home prep for massage, shower, eat something.
5. 5pm Massage
6. 6:30pm Massage
7. 7:30pm Eat Dinner
8. 8pm Help Bradley with his first online taxes adventure.
9. 9pm Watch a little trash TV
10. 10pm ZZZzzzzzz

Wednesday.....

1. 6am Get up
2. 7am Work
3. 3pm Gym (long one today!)
4. 4:30pm Eat something, clean my room, do some laundry, shower
5. 8pm Wokstar 1 year anniversary
6. 9pm start yawning and make my way towards home.
7. 10pm ZZZZZzzzzzzz

Thursday....

1. 6am Get up
2. 7am Work
3. 3pm Gym
4. 4pm Home, prep for massage, shower, eat something
5. 5pm Massage (1.5 hours)
6. 7pm Eat Dinner
7. 8pm Send text message to friends that I'm too tired for Trivia Night.
8. 8:02pm Start a movie
9. 9pm Wake up in the middle of the movie, turn off lights.
10. 10pm ZZZzzzzzzzz

Friday...

1. 6am Get up
2. 7am Work
3. 4pm Work 2nd Job at Ada's
4. 6pm Finish @ Ada's, celebrate the end of a 12 hour day.
5. 6:30pm Pau Hana drink and sunset.
6. 7pm Anything I damn well please.

Have a glorious Saturday swimming in the ocean and laying in the sun.

Have a glorious Sunday swimming in the ocean and laying in the sun.

Wahines that Rock

I did it - I managed to go out on a Friday night. I've been a big stick in the mud lately, haven't been going out much, just happy to be in the honeymoon phase with Bradley. But I've been waiting for this concert for the last month, and I wasn't about to miss it. Luckily Carrie and Justin decided to go too, which I'm glad of because it ended up just being the four of us, and Bradley wasn't really motivated to go in the first place. So I got to enjoy all the awesome Wahines (women), and Bradley got to hang out with Justin for a while. We headed up early, got our tix, and then did a little walk along Front St., ate dinner at Penne Pasta (another Mark Ellman restaurant, so 50% off, yay!), and then mosied back toward Hard Rock Cafe. We stopped in a lot of art stores and galleries too, super fun.

The concert got started really late, and there were a few sound system issues along the way, but we really enjoyed awesome tunes from The Girlas, Erin Smith (my favorite), and some of Paula Fuga. All amazing musicians, and each with a unique style. We were all yawning by the time Paula started though - which wasn't until 12am. We made it through 1 and a half songs, and then all decided to head out. It was a really fun night though, and I'm proud of myself that i lasted that long. I'm so used to being at work early, and going to bed early, so staying up past 10pm is a big achievement for me. :)

The Mother Load

Patience is a virtue, and my man gots what it takes, Yo! I've been on several fishing trip with B-rad, and we've had some exciting close calls, but no big ulua fish while I was there. On Saturday night, Bradley headed out with his fishing buddy to black sands point (a hairy hike, out to the lava rock point, but good fun) for an overnight fishing trip.

At about 10:30pm, nestled in watching a Law and Order marathon, I get a call - he's caught a big one! He wrestled with it for about 15 minutes reeling it in, and then it got caught on the rocks so they had to gaff it. Unfortunately gaffing it means that you seriously injur it, and the chances of keeping it alive until morning when you hike it out are slim. So my illustrious job as the girlfriend of the fisherman - go borrow a car so I can go pick up the ginormous cooler, fill it with ice, and drive it out to the gate by the black sands entrance. All this so that JUST in case the fish dies before morning, that he can hike it out in the middle of the night and put it immediately on ice.

It's a good thing he love me like he do....cuz i did just that, and per Murphy's Law, the fish DID die about 2 hours later. So at 1am, Bradley had to hike that 33lb sucker out and put it on ice. It was totally worth it.......we're gonna be eating this delicate morsel for the next month I think:

Old Tricks

After I finally realized that I would most likely forever be a short haired lady, I thought that my talent for the inside-out french braid would be laid to rest. Oh, not so, and how wrong I was. Little did I know that I would one day be braiding my boyfriends long locks......

It turned out quite nicely, if I do say so myself. :)

Oh, and if you haven't seen my new hair yet.

I Need a Breath of Fresh Air

It has been a crazy week, holy cow. Three big events:

1. Michele was fired. I know it's not really a good thing to wish this upon anyone, but this woman's nickname amongst all her employees is "Dragon Lady". Need I say more? Michele used to send the GM nightly emails about which server or employee she had in her sights for that moment - everyone around her always "needs a wakeup call", or "needs a serious discussion", or she's "burnt on their attitude". Almost every employee at one point or another has been deserving of termination in her eyes. And it never once occured to her that she might actually be the problem. At almost 50 years old, she has no sense of self-awareness....no possible clue that it might be her own ego or shortcomings that could be causing all the interpersonal issues on the restaurant floor. Honestly, I just have no patience for that kind of attitude - I know that I am in no way perfect. I have my moments of Type A Control Freak crap here at work, but if I end up with a real problem in front of me....I usually question myself first. How can I make this situation better? And 9 times out of 10, a quick moment of self reflection solves the problem.

Not Michele - the smallest issues become a federal case, and it's always somebody's fault. Normally I let Michele's crap flow in one ear and out the other, but about a week ago, she got in my face, raised her voice, and demanded her way or the highway. I was a little shaken by her total irrationality, and by how rudely she was willing to treat another human being. It's not the first time she's been hostile with me, but by God......it was the last.

It's already a happier place here...

2. I got my raise. I had a really awesome conversation with one of the owners on Tuesday - he asked me to stop by his home (a flipping amazing beachfront compound) to talk about my request, and about some other things going on at Mala. I was taken by surprise - while I was marvelling at the Christmas card on his desk from Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones - he flat out asked me what would make me happy. He let me know how much he valued my contribution at Mala, and how much he appreciated my keeping things in order there - something I hadn't heard before. I was surprised at how good it made me feel!! But I was definitely caught off guard, and in hindsight, I wish that I'd asked for more, but c'est la vie. He called me today to let me know that he was going to give me the raise. It was awesome, and it will allow me to fast track paying my dad back some money and start saving for a reliable vehicle, and be able to do outcalls for massage.

(2a. Jace, my one regular weekly client totally gave me a raise too. He upped my rate on his own just because he thinks I'm worth it. That was cool too.).

And saving the best for last.....number THREE.

Bradley and I had a real conversation about moving in together. Next month marks one year that we've been together (where did the time go???), and I feel as though we're following a very natural and easy path of being a....I don't know. A team? Partners? I'm not sure how to describe the fact that I just feel like we're very easily facing the world together now - a united front, interdependent. It's more romantic than that....I don't know how I feel about the term soul mate, but if I beleived in that....Bradley feels like mine. I've never felt this with anyone before, and I don't know if it's a factor of Bradley being the right man for me, or if it's just that now I'm ready for a truly serious relationship......maybe it's a little of both. But it doesn't really matter....I love him deeply, and can't imagine my life without him.

I've been thinking lately about moving out of my house (sniffle) to save some money, especially since there are so many places for rent out there right now. In talking more seriously about it, Bradley and I have more and more started hinting around at our future together. We had a really great talk last week about our relationship, and then this week we had an official conversation - I'll be moving in to his place with him when it's done. He had already been figuring out extra storage and closet space for my stuff and my shoes.....sneaky bastard.

It was such an easy conversation. I mean, of course there will be some getting used to...some adjusting, but I'm not scared at all. We spend every night together as it is. The only drawback is that it's in North Kihei, so it will be a hefty trek to work and back every day. I suppose that's more motivation to save pennies for a car. :)

I'm so flipping excited. I love this boy so very much that I can't even think about it too hard or I get all teary and emotional.

Anyhoo....that's 6-8 months in the future, when the place had passed inspection and all that jazz. So I've got some time in between, and I'm in the process as of this week of looking for a new interim place to live. I've been looking with Ryan Robinson - he's the front man for the band I've been singing with on occasion. He's a cool guy, and I'm hoping it works out - he does have some limitations on where he can live because the band needs to practice, so we'll see.


I believe that's all the craziness for this week so far. B-rad and I are thinking about a quick Hana trip this weekend - maybe leave tonight and head out for some overnight fishing at Wainapanapa. That would be fun, haven't been in a while. I'm just hoping for good weather - it's time for this rain to vamos already!

Yay

Finally had a good long talk with my mommy today. We have some great conversations, and we laugh a lot together. I love that. I miss you mommy.

Holy Awesome

I have a lot of money in my bank account right now. Well, a lot for me anyway. Got my tax return!!! So many wheels turning....gotta put some in savings, some to give my dad, some for a little interisland trip, some for a new tattoo, some for a car, some for a massage table pad, some for m----

Yeah, it's not that much.

But it's still cool.

Cookin it up...

I know this may sound a little ridiculous, but I've been so proud of myself lately. Those of you who know me well, know that I'm not that interested in cooking. I've never really enjoyed cooking that much, I'm not very creative in the kitchen, and I usually don't have anything resembling the basic necessities of cooking. I tend to buy food items that don't require any actual cooking - you know, yogurt, cereal, salads, sandwiches, etc. I have been known to occasionally cook spaghetti or macaroni and cheese....things that you can't screw up too badly. (I'm the jerk that always bogarts bringin the salad or the chips and dip option for dinner parties because I dislike cooking so much) (or I bring a store-bought dessert)

I'm sure that having Bradley around all the time has helped in some way, but ultimately I'm not sure why I have a sudden interest in cooking food. Part of is has to do with food being so expensive here, and part of it has to do with my interest in saving money (see previous post), and the only real way to remedy that situation is to cook at home. Part of it also probably has to do with my being in a relationship - I didn't realize how much of my motivation to go out was fueled by the desire to meet someone special. Now that I have him....I really couldn't care less about going out (during the week). I'm so happy to come home, catch up on our days, cook some dinner, and snuggle up with a movie.

ANYWAY.....my point is.....(good lord I'm verbose sometimes).....after going to Costco on Sunday and spending a whole love of money and buying in bulk, I made a decision that I would not eat out for three weeks. The impetus being the desire to not spend anymore money when I have perfectly good food in the house. Normally I do that kind of thing, and then eventually the majority of that food just goes to waste. This time....no can do! I have cooked dinner every single night since Sunday, and like I said, I am goofily proud of myself. (yes, goofily is a word Elissa) (look it up) (it's right next to irregardless).

Wednesday night was an extra special night of cooking for me for two reasons: Number Uno, Bradley was bringing over some fish that he caught. Too cool to be able to catch your dinner. Some of you may be gasping at the thought of my eating fish. I was too, but I was determined to try it because Bradley caught it! Number Dos, I was going to make these portobella mushrooms that are uber delicioso that Tilla used to make when I lived with her in SJ. So we did it up right: A beautiful Ullua filet, some fish fried rice, broiled portobella mushrooms with feta and balsamic, and a gorgeous green salad with local avocados. Talk about a meal fit for a king - and even more exciting, I ate every bite of that fish, and asked for more. It was not fishy tasting at all, and I loved it.

Last night I made a chicken pasta with garlic, olive oil, and lemon. It was quite tasty. Tuesday night I made a sweet and spicy thai chicken. I can't say that I'm getting creative yet - I don't know if I will ever be in my mom's category, but I am pleased with a newfound enjoyment of cooking dinner. And also glad that I have someone who really loves to cook - Bradley is most definitely creative in the kitchen, and I'm taking notes.

I actually even went out and bought a little set of knives - one big one and one paring knife - nothing special, and certainly not CUTCO, but they cut so much better than the stuff that was at the house, and it makes a HUGE difference in the process.

Send recipes!!!


Bradley's fish.....mmmmm......




And Bradley.....mmmmm..... :)

The Aloha

I remember a few years ago, visiting Maui, and hearing people greet each other with Aloha - both the word and the value, and I wondered if I would ever feel comfortable adopting that phrase into my vocabulary.

When I first moved to this beautiful island, I used it intermittently depending on the audience and when I felt like I could "get away with it", and for some reason I felt like I was a bit of a poser using it.

I can safely say now that it is a very comfortable and common phrase in my vocabulary, and recently I have really begun to embrace it's meaning and practice it daily. Every now and then I'm reminded that it isn't a part of my native tongue, but I hope that someday that word along with many others - a hui ho, e komo mai, ohana, etc. - will forever be a part of my everyday language. For such a small alphabet, the Hawaiian language carries a lot of beauty.

Nuthin in Particular

I keep feeling like I should post something up, but really not much new is going on. I'm currently in a holding pattern at Mala, waiting to see if I'm going to get a raise. I should know end of next week. It was hard asking especially in this economic climate, but I've really been feeling undervalued - I'm taking over a lot of the roles the GM is supposed to be filling, and I've gotten no increase in pay. The GM makes an unbelievable salary, and I'm here with a small hourly wage. Which was fine with the original job description - not my current one. Good thing is that the owners seem to understand and agree that something needs to be done, it's just a matter of figuring out what that will be.

On a positive note, financially I'm in a good place right now - I finish paying off my scooter this month, and I'm expecting a nice return on taxes, which will allow me to completely catch up on my medical bills, and still save a little. So I'm hoping this is a turning point for me financially....if I can get a little bump in my hourly, then I'll be able to regularly put away a little money every month while still paying all my bills....that's a situation I haven't been in for a lot of years. I'm still very skeptical, thinking something is going to eff it up - I don't want to get my hopes up too high. I've lived so long in financial squalor...to be in a place where I'm paying all my bills (including my school loan that is finally out of hardship), and where my credit is in good shape....it's a very odd feeling. It will be a long time before I'm able to save for something major, but it's just nice right now not being in red, and paying off credit cards and loans. Who knows, maybe in a year or so I can actually look at planning for the future....(what a novel concept).

Bradley and I are doing great - I'm amazed that in less than two months we'll be marking one year together. Things are very even keel with us right now - we have found a great rhythm together. Not much has changed since his brother came home - he spends a couple extra days out on the beach fishing now, which is great. Last weekend I joined him, Joe (his bro), and Ethan (his nephew) for an overnight fishing/camping trip at Polo beach. Camping is funny - I find it so interesting that we choose to go spend the night in a tent, totally uncomfortable for no real reason other than to enjoy nature. I wonder if it's something in our genetic makeup that tells us it's "fun". I did not sleep soundly, I hurt my back, I was cold, we got a bit wet, we wake up whenever a fishing bell goes off, it took me three days to recover, etc., etc...... And yet, I love it. I love camping, and I still look forward to it. So weird.

My hair is getting pretty long these days. I'm kind of liking it, and looking forward to another haircut to style it a little cuter - the length is good, but it's grown out from another style, and is looking a little frumpy.

I gave myself a pedicure last night - painted my toes purple with white polka dots. That was fun.

I've been working out pretty regularly - at least 3-4 times a week. So the evenings I've been feeling pretty useless. I've been crawling into bed around 9pm. Granted, I'm usually up by 5:30am, so it's not like I'm totally lazy or anything, but I htink also that my body really needs the extra sleep while I'm working out hard. The body needs to recover after all!

On that note, I've been in a much more relaxed place about my weight loss. For some reason something just clicked in me after joining the gym, and I'm not so aggro about my results. I still have goals - I would love to get down in the 165-170 range, but I'm seeing that as a much longer term goal, and I'm not obsessing over my calorie or points intake or how many calories I have to burn, etc., etc. My mentality has changed a bit, and I'm more laid back about my approach - still working hard at the gym, but I'm not freaking out about food or anything. I'm just trying to be "good". Ultimately, I would like to get rid of my buddha belly, and into a size 10-12 again, and that would make me happy. I'm thinking it would be cool to be in that place by Nicole's wedding so I can fit into this cute dress I have in a box back in Hollister, but if it doesn't happen, who cares?

That reminds me, I need to cancel my subscription to WeightWatchers Online. I've wasted a lot of money on that.

I hit up Costco on Sunday, spent $300 and bought food for the month (I hope). My goal is to not eat out for the next three weeks. I think I can make it happen!

All right, I should get back to work - this post ended up a lot longer than I expected!