Thanksgiving

I can't believe that Thanksgiving was already a week ago, how crazy!

This year was a little harder to building up to Thanksgiving. Last year, I just didn't recognize the day at all. I was on my own without many friends yet, and was able to basically ignore the fact that it was a holiday and that I wasn't spending it with my family. But this year, we had a big Thanksgiving dinner planned at Jason's house with the whole nine yards - several turkeys, lots of people, and tons of food - something that is normally defined by being with my family. So the anticipating sadness was a little greater.

Luckily, I was able to spend time on the phone with some family prior to our big dinner, and then, as it usually does...the evening just went by in a flash. It was filled with delicious dishes - each one made "the way my mom makes it" - and it ended up being such a special day shared with wonderful people. I am so grateful that I am really feeling like this is my home. I mean, don't get me wrong, mom and dad's house will always be "home", but this place - Kihei, Maui - I have really made my own in every sense. I feel very blessed that I have found wonderful people to depend on and serve here. I especially feel lucky that I have found a few choice women that are so special to me. I know that no one will ever measure up to my women at home - there is no such thing as a replacement for my girls, and I miss them with every bone in my body. I wish every day that I could have them here with me. But I am also so grateful that I live in a time where we can stay so close even though there is a physical distance between us.

And of course, I am grateful to have a special man in my life. There was such a long period of time that I was just "dating". I had a great time, and I was with a lot of different, interesting, good men, but I have always wanted to be married and to have a permanent someone. I am so much happier in a relationship - I don't miss being at the bars, or scoping out guys, wondering about each one I talk to...I don't miss being single. Granted, being in a relationship is not always easy, but I am truly grateful for all the love and support I receive from Bradley. I am so much happier knowing that I have someone - to laugh with, to support, to decompress from the day, to explore, to play with. And he's a whole other person that I get to know intimately - it seems like the biggest gift to give someone - to truly share yourself with them. No one knows me in the way that he does, and I get to be a part of him in a way that no one else is. It has been a very long time since I've felt that.

As I get older, I think I am more and more aware of the temporal nature of our lives. Anyone who has experienced the death of a loved one.....well I hate to say it, but I guess I do live in a little bit of fear that those I love will be taken from me. I don't mean to say that I am fretting all the time, but only that it impressed upon me the fleeting nature of life. That there are no assurances that the people you love will be there tomorrow, and that it is imperative that they know here and now how much I love them, and am grateful for their part in my life. Especially as we continue to grow older, and the toll of nature becomes much more insistent and frequent.

I am happy. There is a lot on the horizon of this life, and I don't intend to waste it.

And that is what I gave thanks for this past holiday.

Oh, and also that my mom spent so much time on the phone with me detailing out the recipes for her Magic Cookie Bars, and her Candied Yams. They turned out perfectly, and were a huge hit with everyone at dinner. So yummy.