I Have to Start Working, but....

I'm putting this up as a reminder to wrtite about Italian lessons, and the weather on Sunday for the marathon.

Try, Try Again

Lots of reasons (excuses), but I've put weight back on. After a series of events over the past several months (not sleeping well, lack of flexibility, problems with my lady bits, general feeling of unhealthiness), I decided it's time to get healthy (again).

I have some body issues (duh). I know that I've always been that way, but I've always done pretty well at burying it deep down, and not letting it totally rule my life. But sometimes it rears it's ugly head. Especially right now, at my heaviest weight ever, and in a place where you can't hide it under sweats and fleece without fear of heat stroke. I've been feeling pretty down about it.

I made some good efforts a couple months ago - did trial memberships at the two different gyms here in Kihei, and made a decision on which one to join. And then I had surgery, and then I got busy, and then...and then.... (NO AND THEN).

So Wednesday, I joined the gym. And my goal is to go five days a week.

An old college friend put a picture up from when I was about 19, my junior year in college. I was so slender. I honestly don't remember ever being that slim - all I remember is always feeling like I was "the big one". I look at that girl, at that healthy beautiful body, and wonder what in the world totally effed up my perception so significantly. I remember always feeling fat.

So...on to a new approach. No food denials to start.....just changes in the way I eat. I can eat what I want, but smaller portions, more regular meals, and grocery shopping. Eating out only allowed once a week. Also....any gym time is good. No more copping out because I can't go for an hour. The gym is 3 minutes from my house - if I can put in even 15 minutes, I must. I'm hoping those two changes will help me at least sleep better, and start fitting in my clothes better. I'll keep that up for two months, and see where I am.

I shouldn't kid myself - I'm not so evolved that I'm indifferent to my actual weight. I hope to lose 15-20 pounds in that two months. But I'm not going to freak out about it. I'm trying to shift my focus to long term results. Spending the money on the gym is a big sacrifice with my tight budget, so I'm committed.

Bradley is super supportive - he usually brings dessert for us after he gets off work. This time he showed up with fruit bars - no fat, no sugar, real fruit. Good boy.

Oh, and I totally refused the frickin sweet Jack in the Box deal last night - Jumbo Jack, two Tacos, and Fries for $2.99???? That's just ri-goddamn-diculous. Jazzy was seriously pushing me to go with her last night, and I completely refused. So proud of myself.

It's a good start.

Where is the World Do I Start? Part Deux

Crap, now a whole 'nother weekend has gone by and I feel even further behind! So I think I left off around Christmas, which means the next big event was....

A. New Years Eve

Wow, what an amazing bunch of feelings that all come bubbling up from THAT day. My initial plan was for myself and Megan to stay pretty open to anything that night - no one in my circle of friends had made advanced plans of what to do (which isn't that abnormal), but we had all had some kind of conversation about where we would all end up. Beach party...backyard party...Mulligan's retaurant....all fine and dandy, and it didn't really matter as long as we were all hanging together, so no one was really aggro about it at all.

Then, work happened.

For the several weeks prior to NYE, I had gotten more and more involved in helping to plan an event at Mala. One of our owners, Shep Gordon (agent to Alice Cooper, and otherwise ridiculously rich and connected in the music and Hollywood scene), usually has a big NYE party at his home with all his rich homeboys. This year, since he has this beautiful restaurant, he decided to have the event here at Mala. And without warning my role here suddenly changed to include Event Planner. In case i haven't mentioned it before, the employment environment here on Maui is significantly different than that of the Silicon Valley. Normally, when your role changes in the corporate world, you go through some meetings, maybe a couple more meetings, maybe an interview, a new job offer, new salary discussions, official offer acceptance, job code reassignment, and possible new team, new cubicle, etc., etc. Here, not so much. I pretty much just started getting directives from Shep about what I needed to do for his party, and that was that.

I won't complain (much)...this guy is unbelievable powerful, and very influential in this community as well as in the music industry, and without question he entrusted me with a lot in terms of getting this event taken care of. It was fairly flattering. And I was privvy to some very...ahem....interesting email exchanges with some big celebrities. Which, being an actor at heart, was quite titillating for me. I ended up writing cue cards for Tom Arnold, arranging a pre-ordered lei for Helen Hunt, and getting Carlos Santana through security.

Originally I wasn't supposed to be at the actual event, but as the day loomed closer, it became very apparent that I needed to be there. I did, however, negotiate that if I had to be there, they would comp Bradley and Megan, since I had previous plans to enjoy NYE with them. The evening of the event actually went pretty smoothly, albeit a 16 hour day for me, and I got to meet and take care of some famous people (Santana being my favorite). It was an amazing night of music as well - some real legends and some newbies (Mick Fleetwood, Alice Cooper, Rick Vito, Michael Bolton(?), Nickelback, Santana) all on stage together, singing amazing versions of blues songs. It was a night to remember. (also in attendance: Helen Hunt, Owen Wilson, Kocho, and some sheik that rang up a $15K tab. nice.)

But I was ready to leave and hang with my friends. So after that, we all went home and changed and met up with some of my favorite people at another Halama St. house, hit the ice louge, and hung out for a bit.

The unfortunate result of this event was that the billing wasn't done well. I had an idea of how it should have been done, but my GM overrode me, and we went with his method. His method sucked donkey balls. And I have since been cleaning up from that mess. I was supposed to be taking a day and a half off after NYE to spend with Megan, and instead spent it all at work, trying to reconcile the books from that night.

B. The rest of Megan's trip

I was finally able to spend some quality time with Megs over the weekend before she left, which I'm really grateful for. We spent a lot of time out with my friends, which was a blast. Everyone loved her of course, and it was a nice affirmation of how lucky I am to be surrounded by so many awesome people in my life. Way too much drinking, and not enough sleep, that's for sure, but it was all time well spent. :)


I think that brings me current from the holidays....I guess it wasn't that much more, though I'm sure I'm missing something. On to other musings.....

***(I have pictures to post, but I'm getting errors right now. Will try again later!)***

Where in the World Do I Start?

It's been a while, and I'm not sure where to start on the bloggage. I made it through the holidays relatively unscathed, and I'm getting REALLY REALLY REALLY excited to come to the mainland to visit family and friends. It's been a busy week already, and I'll be home two weeks from tomorrow!! I have several stories from the past few weeks, and I only have 45 minutes before my accounting lady comes in and I need to focus on work, so here's my best attempt to share some things that matter to me:

1. Ailene's Visit.

I finally got to meet Iris, Ailene's beautiful little angel, when they came to visit Maui a couple weeks ago. It was so very nice to spend a little time with Ailene - I hadn't seen her in at least a couple years, and it was nice to renew a little of that friendship. I hope to stay in better touch with her - she's an amazing woman that I have always respected and admired, and reconnecting with her now, in such a different phase in both of our lives, was a real gift. She is a beautiful woman with an amazing attitude towards motherhood. Little Iris is a sweet and smiley little girl with her mother's bright blue eyes, and Ailene is a real natural with her. I wish that we could have spent a little more time together, but I don't have a car, and so I couldn't head upcountry on a whim. Dumb.

Unfortunately, no pictures from our visit - I think that Ailene took a couple, hopefully she'll send those along to me.

2. Christmas Eve

We had a little Christmas Eve party at my house, which turned out to be not so little, and we had a great time. Jake really went above and beyond in getting the house ready (especially in Nicole's absence), bringing over decorations, lights, and even a pre-decorated Christmas Tree. It was incredible, and really made it feel like a holiday around the house. It turned out to be a really nice time with good friends.

Jason and Rachel, a Hallmark moment.

Carrie and Justin

Jason and Me

Jason and Pool Santa

Bradley and I ended up exchanging gifts that night because we both couldn't wait it out. We both had some fun little stocking stuffers for each other, and we had started a little earlier in thee evening - letting each other open one of the stocking stuffers. As the evening progressed, however, we ended up totally caving and opening everything, which still cracks me up. I was excited/nervous for our first Christmas together, but was so touched and pleased with all the little thoughtful gifts he gave me. One of my stocking stuffers were some specially made massage table face cradle covers, which he knew I had been wanting. There were a few more little items, some of which I won't share here, but all pertaining to things I love, and little special references to things that are special to us together. The last thing I opened was very obviously a jewelry box, which I opened with some major trepidation. Jewelry? On our first gift exchange? Bold, Bradley, bold. I opened the box to a very beautiful pair of silver turtle earrings with blue opal inlays on the shells. I have a mild obsession with turtles, so it was very sweet. I don't think I would ever have picked out those particular earrings if I saw them, but I didn't take them off for three days straight - it was a very sweet and touching present, and he was obviously put some thought into it. So awesome.

I got Bradley a bunch of little things for his stocking, including a dive flag, and a sweet tako sticker for his car (which he has already put on his window much to my satisfaction), some of his favorite snacks, and of course as is tradition in my family - a bunch of totally unnecessary candy. Tradition is tradition baby. His main gift, I was totally excited to give him - he has been needing a dive float for a while now - he keeps going out with an old bleach bottle, which really doesn't cut it, and actually isn't totally legal - and he's been lamenting that he needed something better. The dive float he wants, and would work the best, is $100 at the dive shop, and it's just ridiculous to spend that much. But lo and behold, a float just like that one appeared on craigslist about two weeks before Christmas, so I was able to get a great deal on it, so I snagged it for him. The look on his face was priceless, and I will keep it with me always. He's been using it regularly, and that makes me so happy!

So we had a very successful Christmas together. It's been a long time since I've spent a Christmas with a boyfriend, and I forgot about that initial worry - what is he going to get me? what should i get him? is it going to be an even exchange? what if mine is more extravagant or thoughtful? what if, heaven forbid, HIS is? yadda yadda yadda. I can tell you now that we had a perfect Christmas, and after all is said and done, I ended up spending the whole day with him (after work, blecch), and that was the most important part to me. I know it sounds a little weird, but now that we have that out of the way, I think we can move on to giving only creative gifts, and not spending money on each other.

Christmas Eve is also the day that I opened my box from home, which had both wonderful and sad feelings attached. My mother always puts a lot of fun things in our stockings, and it was hard not being home to go through our normal motions of Christmas morning. I wish that I could have been home to give my folks a huge hug when I opened that box - the primary thing being this silly fish that I fell in love with years ago (which of course my mother remembered), and is now the centerpiece of conversation at my house. It's so funny - people either absolutely love it, or think it's the most assinine thing in the world.

This fish is the coolest thing in the entire world. Why? I don't know. Does it matter?

I really missed my family on Christmas - especially waking up early with Elissa and heading downstairs to a stocking full of fun trinkets that mom had been collecting over the year. I opened my stocking with Bradley there, and I think he's finally starting to understand the weirdness that is my family. :)

3. Christmas.

I had to work on Christmas. Then I talked to my family on the phone for a long time. I was a little sad afterward, so I basically spent the rest of the day with Bradley, totally ignoring the fact that it was Christmas. It actually worked out pretty well. I wasn't too sad at all - felt a little sad the next day that Christmas had passed as a kind of non-event, but it really wasn't too bad. I had to work the 26th too, so I kept busy. Working through the holidays is a new concept for me - one that didn't bother me too much because there was a little added bonus of making money.

4. Megan's Visit

I had been looking forward to this little cookie coming to visit for a while. I was totally stoked that she was coming for the holiday too, since I wasn't able to head home to the Bay Area. I was trying to count and I think we've spent the last 7 or 8 NYE holidays together. I'm getting a little nostalgic right now actually - I can't remember what year it was that I met Megan, but this girl is a soul sister for life. It's amazing to me the relationship we have - we are very different people, and yet so similar in our likes and dislikes and approach to so many things that when I'm with her I feel like I'm hanging out with myself. It's really weird actually - I definitely make the time to call her, but I don't feel like I have to work at staying connected with her. I think that there is a really natural comfort with her, but I think it also comes with the trust that I have in her. I can't help but sit here and think about the fact that one night while she was here, I was getting ready for bed, and we ended up having a stupid text message volley back and forth with Will Ferell movie quotes for almost a half hour, basically 20 feet from each other. I love that girl. We were the best roommates ever, and I will forever treasure the time we have been able to spend together. I miss her already, but I get to see her, and the rest of my important people in just two short weeks!

I think I'm gonna have to fill in on New Year's Eve and the last week in another post. I've wasted a lot of work time, and my fingers are getting tired. Stay tuned for a follow-up. :)